Texting the sexes I think the best way to study the difference between the sexes is to look at the way we comunicate, and the purest form of comunication today is the humble text message.

Typical Text conversation for men

Here we see Mike and John arrange a night out in 4 easy steps - this is surely what the inventors of SMS messaging had in mind when they developed this technology.

MIKE:HEY SHIV HEAD FANCY A BEER
JOHN:YEAH COOL SEE YOU IN PUB AT 8
MIKE:OK, MIGHT BE 10 MINS LATE, C U L8R
JOHN:K

Overall Cost : $00.40
Comments: Well done lads, no messing about, Liked the use of the term SHIV, a common insult in the genre of text, due to the fact that SHIT does not appear in most peoples predictive text dictionary. Points deducted for the use of capitals, neither man knows how to turn this feature off.

Typical Text conversation for gay men

Here we observe the interaction between two 'navigators of the winward pass' , Notice Predictive Text has substituted the word RICH for SHAG but that gay guys know how to override this and spell the word manually.

0434214214:Fancy a shag?
0489472497:who is this?
0434214214:found your number on toilet wall at petrol station
0489472497:ok meet you in toilet at 8:30

Overall Cost : $00.40
Comments: Well done lads, less messing about than your straight counterparts and you haven't let the fact that you don't even know each other get in the way. Remember to delete your messages afterwards or your boyfriend might see them.

Typical Text conversation for women

Here we see two memebrs of the fairer sex demonstrate how to prolong the text session with an unending sussession of questions answered where possible with other questions.

Toni:Hey Sands
Toni: You there?
Toni: HELLO!
Toni:Wts wrng, rnt u tlkng 2 me?
Sandra:Sry was havn a p
Sandra:Nthn wrng, feel bit dwn...you?
Toni:how come?
Sandra:I am confussed
Toni:Why?
Sandra:Like Mike, but do you think he still likes Rachel?
Sandra:Bitch
Toni:Well he was married o her for 4 years wasnt he?
Sandra:Need choclate
Toni:Wht happnd to Steve?
Sandra:He’s a bastard
Toni:Why?
Sandra:afraid of commitment, he has issues
Toni:how come?
Sandra:wont come to look at wedding dresses with me!
Sandra:I'm going to stay single
Toni:lets go out might cheer you up?
Sandra:where?
Toni:don’t know
Toni:what about rosies?
Sandra:no steve goes there all the time
Toni:Equinox?
Sandra:How much do I hate the music in there?
Toni:Whispers?
Sandra:Could it be more of a Shithole?
Sandra:Don’t feel like going out
Toni:Why?
Sandra:have a spot
Toni:Bet it’s tiny?
Sandra:it’s huge
Toni:c’mon you might meet someone?
Sandra:all men are bastards
Toni:I’ll call you later then?
Sandra:What Time?
Toni:What time is good?
Sandra:Anytime
Toni:is 7 ok?
Sandra:make it 8 ER is on
Toni:ok c u
Sandra:c u xxx
Toni:xxxx
Sandra:xxxxx
Toni:xxxxxx
Sandra:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Toni:xxxxxxxxx - Love You Long Time - xxxxxxxxxx
Sandra:XXXOOOXXX
Toni:xxxxxxxxxyyyyyzzzzzzzzz

Overall Cost : $05.10
Comments: What happened there, 51 messages and still neither party is any closer to knowing what the plan is for later or what the point of the conversation was in the first place. Furthermore they will actually have to phone each other later to waffle on even more.

Text Conversation Between a man and a woman

Here we see what happens when different sexes try to interact with the medium of text.

HER:Hey
HIM:What
HER:Can I askyou something?
HIM:What
HER:You wont be mad at me?
HIM:What is it?
HER:Promise you wont be mad at me?
HIM:Depends what it is
HER:Ok, you know the shirt you lent me
HIM:No
HER:The white one
HIM:You have my white shirt?
HER:You lent it to me
HIM:You stole it off me
HER:Well how would you feel
HIM:about what
HER:Well you know i said you should be more colourful
HIM:No
HER:Well I did, and now is your chance
HIM:Why
HER:Well I sort of washed it with a pair of my pants
HIM:And what color were they
HER:Sort of off white
HIM:Pink?
HER:Well more cerese
HIM:You dyed my favorite shirt pink?
HER:I didn't do it on purpose
HIM:I loved that shirt
HER:You promised you wouldn't be angry
HIM:No I didnt
HER:You allways get crabby with me
HIM:Do I?
HER:Yes?
HIM:Sorry
(15 minutes later)
HER:Ok I forgive you

Overall Cost : $03.50
Comments: Whoooah!, He is appologising to her, with the money he has just spent on that inane conversation, he could have dry cleaned the shirt himself.
  ¶ 5:45 am