Tuesday, November 25, 2003
I'd rather be a spammer than in Jail
When Simon & Garfunkle penned the lyrics "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail" to the poular Peruvian folk song "El condor pasa" I am guessing they had never visited Peru. The reason I can be so sure of this is because had they taken time to visit any of the restauants here in South America, they would be so sick of hearing it they may well have written "I'd like to hit a pan pipe with a nail" or "I'd rather you stuck your pan pipe up your ass"
What would have been my greatest story here never really happened, I think because the good lord, allthough clearly in possession of a top class sense humour, does not really share my twisted view of the world....let me explain.
Whilst eating in a Peruvian Restaurant in Arequippa, no sooner had our food arrived, than the obligatory 15 piece patagonian indian band suddenly appeared in a whirl of gaudy ponchos and riddiculious hats. They quickly assembled in to a well rehearsed formation and dropped in to a stiring rendition of ...you guessed it "El condor pasa". Whilst the most junior, or least tallented member of this ensemble wandered round the restaurant trying to offload Cd's and solicit donations from the unlucky diners.
Someone in our party asked him if she could have the bill, mistakenly thinking he was the waiter. At this point, as mentioned before the god of comedy let us down. Had I been in charge of the events, he would have turned to the band requesting "The Bill", who would have seemlessly changed their tune to the title music of the popular british police drama of the same name!
Still if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and it with this in mind that I graduated from the Berraca Scool of Spanish here in Quito, after a mere 20 hours of copying verbos regulares and verbos irregulares and playing games aimed for spanish 3yr olds. Now I am wandering the streets of Quito, annoying the public by pointing to varios things and helpfully informing them how it is pronounced in Spanish, Ie - point at someones shoes and shout Zapatos, or a someones head and shout Cabesa - this gets more of a laugh if you point to someone with say a paticularly large nose and shout El Nariz Grande!
I know this sounds like a bad way to spend my remaining time here, but its cheaper than the cinema, and anyway they band me for reading the subtitles out loud.
Anyway I have to go, the owners have asked me to leave because I pointed to their internet connection and shouted Esta es Despachio Mierda..
La Paz con Amor
Enrico
xxx
¶ 5:58 am
What would have been my greatest story here never really happened, I think because the good lord, allthough clearly in possession of a top class sense humour, does not really share my twisted view of the world....let me explain.
Whilst eating in a Peruvian Restaurant in Arequippa, no sooner had our food arrived, than the obligatory 15 piece patagonian indian band suddenly appeared in a whirl of gaudy ponchos and riddiculious hats. They quickly assembled in to a well rehearsed formation and dropped in to a stiring rendition of ...you guessed it "El condor pasa". Whilst the most junior, or least tallented member of this ensemble wandered round the restaurant trying to offload Cd's and solicit donations from the unlucky diners.
Someone in our party asked him if she could have the bill, mistakenly thinking he was the waiter. At this point, as mentioned before the god of comedy let us down. Had I been in charge of the events, he would have turned to the band requesting "The Bill", who would have seemlessly changed their tune to the title music of the popular british police drama of the same name!
Still if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and it with this in mind that I graduated from the Berraca Scool of Spanish here in Quito, after a mere 20 hours of copying verbos regulares and verbos irregulares and playing games aimed for spanish 3yr olds. Now I am wandering the streets of Quito, annoying the public by pointing to varios things and helpfully informing them how it is pronounced in Spanish, Ie - point at someones shoes and shout Zapatos, or a someones head and shout Cabesa - this gets more of a laugh if you point to someone with say a paticularly large nose and shout El Nariz Grande!
I know this sounds like a bad way to spend my remaining time here, but its cheaper than the cinema, and anyway they band me for reading the subtitles out loud.
Anyway I have to go, the owners have asked me to leave because I pointed to their internet connection and shouted Esta es Despachio Mierda..
La Paz con Amor
Enrico
xxx
¶ 5:58 am
