Sunday, November 30, 2003
Back where it all began
Well I'm back in Santiago de Chile for a couple of days where this whole adventure began! (Sniff)
Lots of messing about on the journey here because my Airline of Choice 'Avianca´ showed all the efficiency of Tortoises on Vallium, which sort of serves me right by saving mypenny'ss and flying via Columbia!
I have come torealizee that I do really like flying though, and all that comes with it....Reclining your chair really slowly so the guy behind youdoesn'tt know your doing it, he just gets the sensation that he is growing. Ormaybey waitinguntill the captain distracts everyone with anannouncementt about the view from the left of the plane, and when he looks away from the window, he smacks his nose on the back of your seat.
Also there is the whole ritual of food and drinks on planes, the anxious wait for the food trolley to reach you, the excitement of removing the foil from yourLilliputiann portion of microwaved magic, opening 20 wrappers to get to your knife and fork, and serviette, and trying to find somewhere to put the resulting pile ofrubbishh. Trying to cut your food without cutting through the foil. Finding the salt and pepper after you have finished your meal. The anxious wait for the drinks trolley, and thedisappointmentt in receiving a can of coke the size of a thimble. Trying to swap your piece of cake for the tiny cheese selection with the passenger next to you whilst making sure no one has anything you don't. Trying to spread rock hard frozen butter on a roll the size of a marshmallow, and manufacturing the smallest sandwich you have ever seen. Wiping your face with the towellette, and smelling like a car air freshener. Trying to eat the remaining ice in your plastic cup (but it isallayss magically held in the bottom of the glass, and when you tap it it allways hits your cheek and falls in your lap. Preparing your cup for the Tea of Coffee that will follow before spending a good 10 minutes trying to get the sugar of the bottom and the milk powder of the top with a pathetic plastic oar.
Finally the anxious wait for the hostes to come and take all therubbishh away so you can get back to what you were doing before being rudely interrupted.
My other main observation, is that pilots arealwayss really well spoken, I wonder if they are all given elocution, or if you are just barred from flying school if you have a really strong accent. How would you feel if the pilot came over in a really thick Yorkshire accent...Allo this is captin cleggy, were at 32 thousand feet and I tell thee, I nearly shat me sel then when orange light cem on in cockpit, i said to co pilot, what the chuffin els that - he said it´s reflection of your fag ya daft bugger!
Don't be Strange
Eric ¶ 6:09 am
Lots of messing about on the journey here because my Airline of Choice 'Avianca´ showed all the efficiency of Tortoises on Vallium, which sort of serves me right by saving mypenny'ss and flying via Columbia!
I have come torealizee that I do really like flying though, and all that comes with it....Reclining your chair really slowly so the guy behind youdoesn'tt know your doing it, he just gets the sensation that he is growing. Ormaybey waitinguntill the captain distracts everyone with anannouncementt about the view from the left of the plane, and when he looks away from the window, he smacks his nose on the back of your seat.
Also there is the whole ritual of food and drinks on planes, the anxious wait for the food trolley to reach you, the excitement of removing the foil from yourLilliputiann portion of microwaved magic, opening 20 wrappers to get to your knife and fork, and serviette, and trying to find somewhere to put the resulting pile ofrubbishh. Trying to cut your food without cutting through the foil. Finding the salt and pepper after you have finished your meal. The anxious wait for the drinks trolley, and thedisappointmentt in receiving a can of coke the size of a thimble. Trying to swap your piece of cake for the tiny cheese selection with the passenger next to you whilst making sure no one has anything you don't. Trying to spread rock hard frozen butter on a roll the size of a marshmallow, and manufacturing the smallest sandwich you have ever seen. Wiping your face with the towellette, and smelling like a car air freshener. Trying to eat the remaining ice in your plastic cup (but it isallayss magically held in the bottom of the glass, and when you tap it it allways hits your cheek and falls in your lap. Preparing your cup for the Tea of Coffee that will follow before spending a good 10 minutes trying to get the sugar of the bottom and the milk powder of the top with a pathetic plastic oar.
Finally the anxious wait for the hostes to come and take all therubbishh away so you can get back to what you were doing before being rudely interrupted.
My other main observation, is that pilots arealwayss really well spoken, I wonder if they are all given elocution, or if you are just barred from flying school if you have a really strong accent. How would you feel if the pilot came over in a really thick Yorkshire accent...Allo this is captin cleggy, were at 32 thousand feet and I tell thee, I nearly shat me sel then when orange light cem on in cockpit, i said to co pilot, what the chuffin els that - he said it´s reflection of your fag ya daft bugger!
Don't be Strange
Eric ¶ 6:09 am
